My Health Journey
Earth is a school. Our challenges are here to teach us.
Before each incarnation our souls choose the aspects they would like to focus energy on, which challenges they would like to face in the pursuit of growth and expansion, and what they would like to achieve whilst embodied. Everyone that plays a role in our lives also agreed, before incarnation, on who would play each role for our growth, and we made agreements to those souls too. This continues from incarnation to incarnation, so our souls can experience all aspects, all contrasts, and can continue to grow and expand in consciousness.
I was born highly intuitive and an Empath, I spent an exceptionally long time feeling misunderstood and like I did not belong here, on the Earth. It did not help that I could sense and feel other people’s emotions and pain… because I could not tell that they were not my own. This is a very confusing thing for a child, more than that, I had no idea – so I literally thought I was really messed up and totally unfixable.
As you may (or may not) know, thoughts become things, and my thoughts about myself were anything but healthy. It did not help that I tried to protect myself from the energy of the world around me by padding out my physical body – I was quite overweight and badly bullied as a result. My thoughts were reinforced, and they worsened over time.
At the age of 8 or so I remember walking to the kitchen and opening the drawer, picking up a knife and wondering just how much it would hurt if I plunged it into my heart. I wanted out.
But I stayed.
When you think negatively about yourself, and you have a lot of negative emotion running through your body, eventually you get sick (especially when you are absorbing everyone else’s negative energy too). You see, anything that manifests in the physical first appears in the energy fields of the body, the Aura, and it all begins with a thought (conscious or subconscious). Thoughts that are continuously thought turn into beliefs, and then through the Law of Attraction we magnetise to ourselves those situations that prove our beliefs right. We also attract those challenges that provide us with the opportunity to learn, expand, grow, and transmute those beliefs.
And boy oh boy, was I a magnet.
Sickness as a pathway to light… The Challenges that led me to my Knowing – aka The Icky Health Stuff
The first big thing I remember was Glandular Fever, or Epstein Barr Virus, at the age of 14. Wow. Four months in bed, I literally could not move, or eat, and my liver and spleen were so swollen that I could not even sit up. It took me a long time to recover, and to be honest I am not sure it ever truly left me.
After that I had periods of fatigue, recurrent viral infections, and general malaise. I tried my hardest to push through, but that did not work and fuelled the recurrent infection cycle.
At around the age of 16 my right hand developed a rash; it was all encompassing. My entire hand was red, swollen, and infected. I wore a white glove on it for about a year. I had chunks of skin falling off and it smelt terrible, like it was rotting. Such an attractive thing for a 16-year-old girl to have to deal with! Honestly! As if I was not self-conscious enough. It took some time, but eventually I worked out it was a chemical sensitivity to SLS (thanks to Glandular Fever for freaking out my system) and once I threw out my chemical laden beauty products it started to clear really quickly.
I should say over those couple of years, aside from medical care, I sought Naturopaths, Homeopaths, Chiropractors and Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioners. Everybody, anybody, trying to find a way back to health.
And then…. sorry for this but… in my early twenties I developed a raging staph infection in every hair follicle in my legs from the knee down. I cannot even remember how long I was on antibiotics for. Months and months at the time, and then on and off for years. It was horrible. I was washing my body in high-strength, hospital-grade, antibacterial wash every day. I was infectious, it was painful, and the long-term antibiotic use almost certainly destroyed my gut health, which led to food sensitivities later.
Then Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. To be honest I am not sure whether it was before or after the last one or two things I have written about. It is all a bit of a blur. All I remember is I could barely lift myself up off the couch and I felt no joy, it was like it did not exist for me anymore. Joy was not even a possibility.
Oh, then along came another infection. I am fairly sure it was around this time I was seeing Endocrinologists and Haematologists because my blood was doing all kinds of weird things. My body is super sensitive, and when something happens it reacts in a BIG way.
Somewhere in all of this I took antidepressants. Not only had I been sick for years, with most people thinking I was a hypochondriac because there was nothing ‘major’ wrong with me, I also had dysmorphic body issues (having experienced anorexia, bulimia and exercise addiction) and I was completely disconnected from my true self. Completely disconnected. I hated my body. I hated the way it looked, I hated it for letting me down.
So. Much. Hate.
I found a small ledge at some stage, had two feet on the ground, and began to live a normal-ish life. This was around the age of 23. I was generally ok. Still disconnected, but ok.
I got married and had a baby…. and he was not all that well. That is another story. But you can take away one thing from this sentence… sick mummy = sick baby.
Fast forward about 3 years, of which survival mode was the main theme. I had two beautiful children (you guessed it, with nothing major wrong… but still not all that well) and things started to get complicated again.
Suddenly I had an allergic reaction, to I do not know what, and ended up in hospital on huge levels of cortisone, antihistamines, and a drip. I had hives all over my joints and my joints were swollen, they HURT big time. They were hot and inflamed and it was uncomfortable to move. Cortisone was necessary to see me through this patch of time. No one ever figured out what had happened (I suspect Lightbody symptoms).
The next year or so was a blur. I had a bad car accident, a miscarriage and my Dad passed away from MND (or ALS if you’re in the states). I was broken. But as some of you will understand, it is only through breaking that the light starts to shine through.
Then hello acne! Yep, acne. I’ve got to say it didn’t even show up until I started being THE HEALTHIEST I HAD EVER BEEN! Wholefoods, lots of water, low tox…… and ACNE?! Seriously. It was hard to comprehend this issue showed up after I started living an ultra-clean life. Cystic acne to boot. Painful, horrible, and plain ugly.
I gave up dairy, which helped, and then gluten, which helped more. I was even Vegetarian + Gluten + Dairy free for about 6 months. I drank 3 litres of water a day. I did yoga. Meditation. This acne was DIFFICULT to budge. I spent thousands of dollars on products, practitioners, laser…… THOUSANDS. Not to mention all the energy it took. The energy it took to hide it, the energy it took to fight it, the energy that went into the shame and sorrow of not even being able to look at myself.
Everything I did helped, but there was no ‘magic bullet’.
Honestly, giving up gluten and dairy was the best thing I could have done. It improved my health significantly and all that extra puffy, watery, bloated-ness we tend to carry around with our modern diets simply VANISHED! I lost about 3kg (not my intention, just a happy side effect) and I do not actually have to work at maintaining my weight. I eat want I want, whenever I want. I have a whole food diet, that is dairy, gluten and egg free, and includes home-made chocolate, turmeric lattes, and the occasional biodynamic wine. I feel nourished and satisfied. Happy days!
A few years later, after the acne started, I stumbled and came down with a virus that brought back that joint pain. I could not even turn my neck; I had arthritis in every joint in my body. My blood tests showed markers for three different autoimmune diseases. I was dependent on cortisone for two weeks. I fell really hard. And it scared the sh*t out of me.
Then I woke up.
I realised something. It is not all about the food we eat, the chemicals we are exposed to or how much exercise we do. We could be doing ALL THE RIGHT THINGS, but if our thoughts are toxic, our body is toxic. Thought creates form. I had spent years hating my body and living with the feeling that deep down there was something very wrong with me. I despised myself. Everything about myself.
That is why I have spent every spare moment, of the best part of a decade, researching and studying the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of the human being. It is what I do every day. Research. Different thought leaders, spiritual leaders, and scientific researchers – I take it all in. I am a big believer in balance and that there is not a single answer for anything (or everyone). Every angle, every aspect needs to be considered to form a balanced understanding and considered, individualistic approach. I seek complete resonance, not what ‘sounds’ good.
I have studied and completed the following courses over this time:
- Reiki Master
- Forensic Healing Practitioner
- Soul Contract Reading Practitioner (Level 3)
- Functional Nutrition Consultant
The years of research, study, meditation, and energy work I have dedicated myself to have brought me back to me and have helped my sensitivity and intuition blossom. My physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual wellbeing are worlds apart from my younger years; I am aligned and balanced. Now that I am being myself, in my full authenticity, my body is not trying to get my attention anymore; it is at peace and no longer calls out for help. The joint pain is gone, the autoimmune markers are gone, the recurrent infections are gone; I have finally found a place of health.
Because I am not resisting myself anymore.
I am blessed to receive intuitive guidance, for myself and others. My heart bursts with joy at the thought of helping people, with the right balance of what they need in each moment. It is my life’s purpose.
So, it seems this journey has gotten me to exactly where I am meant to be.
And so to will yours, I promise.